When we talk about grief we mean any reaction to a loss. The death of a loved one is one of the most painful losses we can experience, but we can also mourn other situations, such as the loss of health, a change of address, the loss of a job or the loss of freedom to continue with our daily lives. People with an intellectual disability (ID) are no stranger to grief, however, they may present reactions and manifestations that are different from those of people without an ID. The mourning process and its manifestation usually revolves around 6 months, however, in people with ID, both the expression and the structure of it can be altered.
It is necessary to process the grief and accept the feelings associated with it. All feelings are legitimate and can cause suffering.
General guidelines:
1. Help identify the feelings related to the grief you are experiencing and facilitate their expression by being empathetic.
2. Identify what personal and environmental resources the person with ID has that can help them process and overcome grief, taking into account, for example, similar experiences they have had.
3. Promote participation in mutual aid groups and share your experience with your environment: school, occupational workshop, residence...
Before the loss occurs:
- Educate about life cycle processes. People with ID must be able to participate in the disease process in their environment. It's important to anticipate the loss, not wait until it happens to start talking about it with the person with ID.
- Help the person with ID understand the meaning of the loss. Explain the foreseeable changes that can occur in the life of the person with ID after the loss of a loved one, promoting safety above all.
- Promote the expression of their feelings, help them resolve outstanding issues with the sick person, offer them support and resolve any doubts they may have.
After the loss occurs:
- Report the loss as soon as possible. It is important to do this with simple language, adapted to the level of understanding of the person with ID, and in a space where they can feel welcome and comfortable, and can talk about it calmly.
- Invite him to speak and express himself, without interrupting his speech and without fear of talking about the loss.
- Provide information about the loss in a clear, direct and simple way. "Protecting" the person by not telling them the truth will only delay and make their grieving process more difficult. •Involve them, as much as possible, in the rituals and events related to the death, anticipating what will happen in each situation.
- Try to get the person with ID to continue with their daily routines and activities. It is also important to maintain and strengthen their social supports.
- Offer you individualized attention, adjusted to your needs and personal experiences. It should be emphasized that this support and restraint should be tried to be maintained in the months following the loss, since mourning is a long process that requires the support and understanding of the people around you in order for it to be worked out in an adjusted manner.
